Hiding Your Tracks
When seeking help, always use caution and make sure that you cover your tracks. Here are some ways that you can hide your activity:
Ask a friend to help you research information
Try to hide any information you have written down in a place where your abuser will not find it. (i.e. hide phone numbers inside of an empty lipstick tube or compact)
If you are able, go to a library to use the Internet
Try not to use your abuser’s computer or phone
Save up money so you can call from payphone
Try to do any research when your abuser is not around
Create an e-mail account that your abuser is not aware of
Delete any sent messages
Create a password that your abuser will not know or guess
Try not to use a phone that your partner has access to.
If your phone keeps a contact list of whom you called, be sure to erase your history after your calls.
If we call you, our number will appear as PRIVATE NAME, PRIVATE NUMBER and cannot be tracked.
If your phone only stores the most recent number dialled, make sure you call another number after your phone for help.
Do not call long distance from a mutual phone as you will be billed and the number will appear.
Call from work, someone else’s phone or a pay phone.
Avoid calling from your cell phone or your partner’s cell phone.
Your Internet search activity is recorded regardless of what browser you use. Search for how to clear your Internet search history (how to ‘delete your
Browsing history, or cookies’) after you have browsed the site of any organization you contact for support.
If You Are Planning to Leave
It is not an easy decision to leave your abusive situation. It takes courage and strength to make that choice, but it is essential to your protection and survival that you take the necessary steps to ensure your safety. Be prepared and plan in advance.
Have a suitcase/bag with clothing, important documentation and valuables stored at a neighbour or friend’s house.
Make copies of all-important documentation and keep bills with your information and your abuser’s information on it. (i.e. proof of co-habitation)
Bring the following information with you: bank information, personal identification, immigration, citizenship, passports, birth certificates, SIN cards, proof of marriage, bills with both you and your abuser’s name on it with your current address
Bring any prescription medications with you.
Put aside money to bring with you.
Ask friends and family you can trust for help.
Plan an emergency route and try to leave when you know that your abuser will not be around.
Devise a safety plan and inform people you trust what your plans are and what to do in case something happens.
Keep a list of emergency numbers with you.
If you have children, do not leave them behind. Take them with you and you will be given assistance to deal with custody issues on-site.